'But i would walk 500 miles' said the proclaimers. JPJ Sanders replied with 'Hurry up i've got to walk 500 more after this'

every day we are exposed to it, every step we take, every move we make we are exposed to it. they come in all sorts of samatotypes, some are ectomorphs, some endomorphs and others mesamorphes. they are as Brian would say 'individuals who do not need to follow me' people who have succumbed to a gourmless trend becoming sheep like. this is something that affects us all Northern, Eastern, Western and us superb southerners. everyone will find it annoying at some point, even those like Mr keelan who are influenced by other peoples actions such as giggling because someone has started sing the wrong hymn loudly and out of tune, this is a topic that causes arguments, hinderance and the potential imprint of someones shoe onto a part of their body. it's a form of transport used constantly apart from those among us who have alternative methods, therefore you would hope people would be able to do it efficiently although there are those among us who cannot; as a result i JPJ Sanders declare war against people who walk to slowly.

i cannot believe that there are not more cases of people being murdered/assaulted for walking to slow not only does it make it acceptable to dordle from place to place it affects people education, creates annoyance, prevents people from going to where they need to go, its stereotype creating, gcse affecting, occupation affecting, life threatening, blood boiling, criminal record producing, economy affecting, under taker booming, shoe sole wearing, a health and safety hazard, a trend set by people who need to pull their trousers up, behaviour you'd expect from the lowest of the low who throw sweets at me at break time (i would eat them and enjoy them if i was you when your homeless and benefit less you won't be getting any more; you'll get your hands cut off if your caught stealing!), misery causing, illness inducing, attention absorbing and worst of all destroys potential creativity and economic productivity that could have been made if people had only got to their jobs faster been able to have learnt those last few balanced equations that would have got them that pass in science enabling them to progress into further education to make a real positive difference to society that could prevent the world from famine and other horrendous ordeals. i do not see why people feel the need to walk so slowly there is no point in dordling to where you need to be because you either end up doing the work you put off by arriving late in the form of overtime or homework. so troops we either need to put them on our six week training programs which sports studies students such as Mr Mills Mcgowan, Miss Turner, Mr Downes and Mr Mullord which will have them bounding down the corridors or we need to get a law put in place!

see the thing is troops when i wake up well i know i'm going to be the man who wakes up and sorts the slow walking problem out. also i know that i'm going to be that man who goes along with you my fellow heroes of this battle most definitely not stopping to get intoxicated with you. i will not be havering but shouting inspirational messages of support through a megaphone as you kick those slow walkers along creating shockwaves of energy as their marvellous mass graces the floor stepping over them like road kill, because in order to win this battle we will need to walk 500 miles possibly even 500 more falling down at the door of our homes after our giant trip. we will have to work hard, however i don't think we will earn anything from it in the short term although we will be able to get to places faster work for longer achieve more earn more have more free time doing things of sentimental value. we'll grow old happy next to those who mean things to us not reflecting on the time wasted walking slowly behind overweight people who cannot wobble faster for fear of causing a major obstruction to our daily lives by falling over and have to be crane lifted back onto their swelled feet. i sincerely doubt that we will be lonely as i will continue to declare war against things that i as well as other conservatives find annoying. we can all dream of a day when people are electrocuted for not walking quick enough which will provide entertainment in addition to a constructive purpose for the economy and the health of this intersting island. when we go home with who ever you go home with you will not be held up giving you a longer period to produce uterus urchins through the method of rumpy bumpy.we will walk the streets able to walk at a steady speed humming da da da(da da da)da da da (da da da)Da Da Da Dun Diddle Un Diddle Un Diddle Uh Da but first we must be the army who walked a thousand miles to allow people accross the rest of the world to walk without obstruction winning the war on slow walkers. so no more excuse me's tell them what a disaster to mankind they are and show them how they should walk, we will win this battle against them. after all we're already faster and fitter as long as they don't all fall over we'll be fine.