'time after time, if you fall i will catch you - i will be waiting' sang Cydni Lauper, JPJ Sanders replied with 'must be related to Ricky Ponting then'

geography is rather pleasant at the moment due to a couple of cricket related reasons. 1. Australia are winning, 2. England are losing the combination of these two things result in this i'm not abused by my peers or by Mr Speke. as you are all aware through my father i qualify as an Australian citizen through his permanent residency never one to follow the crowd i've used this as an opportunity to move to the darkside that are more successful when it comes to sport. however i am not here to declare war against geography, cricket or Australia; i am here to declare war against those that do not maximise the time available to them, it's like i say 'it takes a second to achieve awesomeness and ten tenths of a second to fulfill failure' the late Freddie Mercury sang that 'time waits for nobody' and Freddie Mercury was a true lover of life, the JPJ Sanders of his generation to the point that Brian May wrote on his gravestone 'lover of life, singer of songs' i often wonder what Freddie Mercury would be doing now if he was still alive, although unfortunately his time has come and gone. therefore i declare war against people who suffer time negligence!

the problem i have is that to suffer from time negligence you are showing that you are complacent, lazy, disorganised, unambitious, capable of a greater contribution to the big society, wasting the terrific talents that they possess, rely on other people for the most basic of things, lack independence, expect rather than desire and worst of all lack the concept of gratitude. because when i'm lying in bed hearing the clock go tick tock i do not wait for someone to wake me up i get up and write a list of things i want to achieve during the day or a poem/quote occasionally i do think of you waiting for the world to provide you with opportunities for greatness but you get caught in circles of confusion as you do not understand how it's happened, meanwhile i get satisfaction from the flashbacks of warm nights creating my opportunities for greatness which are almost left behind as i commence the next project my next satisfying of needs for greatness. my evidence of those periods of greatness from making the most of the time available placed perfectly in the suitcase of memories. for you should never get lost but if you do you can look and you will find me time after time looking for methods of improvement. if you do fall i do promise to catch you i'll be waiting while inspiring the next generations of JPJ Sanders to make the most of their lives time after time. because if you fall behind unfortunately the second hand will never unwind. sometimes i may picture you use you as an example in my speeches in the house of commons of where some generations went wrong why some are walking too far ahead to far away to hear the failing generations calling for help telling us to go slow but we can't the world is forever revolutionising not making the most of your time will leave you trailing in the slip stream of our flying cars and hover boards. Freddie made the most of every minute he had working through pain, singing songs, loving life the way he always had he worked for his success; enjoying the satisfaction immensely therefore it is our duty to make up for the time Freddie could not spend living by making the most of every hundredth, every tenth, every second, every minute, every hour and everyday. we have the ability to make the world a brilliant place: a place Freddie would be proud of. so lets stand up become more than just a figure making the world a better place than it has ever been. we start today not tomorrow continuing till the day when we no longer have enough breath to perform a poem or blast a ballad that's the day when we can say. yes i gave life my best shot.

'i've wasted all my tears, wasted all those years' sang Simply Red, JPJ Sanders replied with 'there's no such thing as waste, as you should have learned from it'

being the honest, abrupt, straight talking person that i am and admit somethings to you all. i feel that i am making up for lost time when it comes to social endeavors like i mentioned in a earlier blog i had gone nearly 4 years without going to a party now I've been to two more parties each differing in terms of activities on offer i regret not being as outgoing when i started secondary school. i spent the first 2 and a half years of my secondary school experience not being myself; trying to impress people with my absent talents and even attempted a joke i think the problem was this. I cared what people thought of me although this mainly ended up with me withdrawing from social situations due to their awkwardness because i didn't know how to get within the 'circle' as a result i just cowered in the corner looking like the hunchback of notre dame according to Miss Jones. i know that i am not the only one who has been unable to allow others to embrace them for the person that they are, for example i said to Miss Absolom yesterday 'oh dear, you've embraced the madness, you are stuck in the outskirts of the tornado in the eternal revolving excitement of peasant abusing, war fighting, politically perfect, the conservative character who sees surviving till 9PM as an achievement, the lover of life, the flicking of the curls that is the allure of me.' as usual i take it upon myself to represent the masses therefore i declare war against those that won't allow themselves to be the perfect person that they are because they care what people think of them.

the Disney adaptation of the story, the hunchback of notre dame does sort of describe my time at Larkmead, it started off with me only talking and socialising with 3 gargoyles (Mr Meredith, H from Steps, cornflakes) while i would occasionally make a comment to remind people of my exsistance which Quasimodo did through ringing the bells. we both share the struggle to be accepted by society for being the people that we are; he's deformed, kind and isolated while i'm power hungry, eccentric and lonely. although Quasimodo comes good in the end when he kills his guardian Frollo, depending on whether you are part of the 60% that don't like me or the 40% that do you may also say that i came good when i developed a personality during the easter holidays when i was in year 9. since then there has been no stopping me some say i transformed into a monster, others a human being. do i care? NO why should i, i am the way i am because being myself is my greatest talent a talent everyone has: the ability to be themselves to possess a character because like Brian said 'we are all individuals' so there is no point in holding back the years trying to be something your not, dwelling on the fear you've had for so long of what people will think of you for being yourself. when somebody hears and compliments you on being you the fear will disappear like a mcdonalds in front of an american (tribute to my readers accross the pond). for holding back the years will not give you the chance to escape from all you know about what people perceived you to be. don't hold back the tears where your heart on your sleeve for your personality has never been able to grow with that stiff upper lip of yours. you have spent so long worrying about what people think of your forged personality that you have not allowed anything to be good. because how can it if no one knows who you really are; you become unpredictable as you follow no morals and people will be rather two faced about you which shouldn't matter if you don't care what people think of you. so lets throw of the mask, throw your hat into the crowd, let your hair down be the person you are enjoy yourself, express the person within, you have an opinion say it. have an emotion show it, don't shed tears shed laughter. don't be afraid of what one person thinks, in your lifetime you'll meet hundreds of people each of them will have a different opinion of you. i say to you all today be yourself, let people embrace your personality or nothing is all you will have to say.

'mother do you think she's good enough, for me?' asked Pink Floyd, JPJ Sanders replied with 'my mother would say no, however i believe your punching above your weight'

people often ask me about love and why i seem disgusted by it or the idea of rumpy bumpy my answer is always the same. i have 4 wives all orange with pink bits in the middle, all rather curvy when striding along the green carpet, shining in all their glory next to their smaller friend 'Jack' gently carressing him to tempt the other jealous males to allow their wives to have a go at seducing them taking them away from their perfect perch. sometimes they are abused by the wives of my peers leaving them battered and bruised in the ditch, miraculously climbing their way onto the bank where they return to my possession where i sooth their pain with ointment giving them a bit of a rub and a tickle with a towel before the torture begins again. that's the reason i have 4 wives so if one decides they can't take it and cracks i'll have another 3 to satisfy my needs. i've always struggled with the concept of love and intimacy which is why i use euphemisms to describe subjects that i find awkward to talk about this isn't helped by people constantly telling me 'lets face it you and rumpy bumpy it's never going to happen is it' was a recent one from Dr Robertson that quite a few people found amusing. i do often wonder what will happen to me romantically will there be a person that meets the criteria? will there be a Mrs JPJ Sanders? will we be mixed pairs partners and win the world indoor mixed pairs? these are all questions that may have to be answered with thought and saying 'i'll give it my best shot' won't be good enough. being the unique marvelous male that i am and seeing the world differently i have come to the conclusion that some us marvelous males are more like mischievous monkeys who when punching above our weight in terms of quality of female companion abuse their lapse of judgement and take advantage by not treating the fabulous female that they are as they would deserve, therefore as i am not involved in the united nations i declare war against those among us who need an education in how to satisfy a wonderful womans romantic requirements.

i think the problem males have is, is that we have an appendage between our lower body and our upper body called the didgeridoo which below it has two round squash ball things that produce testosterone which over rides the messages sent along our spinal cord to our brain and back it's people that are inept, incapable, mickey taking, monkey mimicking, romance neglecting, bottom pinching, run down the street naked holding the hand of their male best friend, idiotic, intoxicated, create a image of themselves familiar to a koala that has fallen out of its tree due to a car crashing into it and worst of all ungrateful of the opportunity they have been given to cherish a beautiful being that is nearly as great as me. these people need to stop thinking with their didgeridoos and start asking their mothers how they should be treating their gorgeous companions. ask them mother do you think they'll drop the bomb of actually enjoying your company. Mother do you think they'll like the songs that i've wrote about her inner beauty and talent? mother do you think they'll break my testicles if i do something stupid involving a woeful woman? which the answer to that will of course be yes in fact that's normally what i recommend my angels to do to the mischievous monkeys that destroy faith put in them. Mother should i build a wall? my advice would be a shrine but housing the girl of your dreams is a good idea. Mother should i run for president? not sure how that helps with romance but don't american politics is corrupt and discriminatory against athiests. Mother should i trust the government? of course it's a conservative government with the liberal democrats helping the house staff of Downing street the government is running rather efficiently. Mother will they put me in the firing mine? only if you break their heart will a female resort to that sort of punishment even if that is what you deserve. but hush now ruffian stop crying and start working, not putting into practice the advice of your mother will result in her making all your nightmares come true and putting all their fears into you. she'll keep you under her wing once every girl in the neighbourhood has realised what a monstrosity to humanity you are therefore the risk of another human being having the genetic information possessed in your sperm is too great. she won't let you fly away for the fear of you being mightily murdered by a foreign woman but she might take you out and let you sing a the karoake night at her bingo. mothers promise when you are born to check your girlfriends for you, especially anyone dirty through the doorway, she'll wait up till you get back from her house because mothers have had to endure the pain from mischievous monkeys before meeting our fantastic fathers who promised your grandmothers to keep them healthy and clean make sure your standard is living is high and that your fathers standards were high enough to allow your father to love your mother. so perhaps you should do the same ask advice from your parents ask yourself is she good enough for me? if the answer is too good then you tie a knot around your didgeridoo to stop it working causing you to appear a better human being, treating women as they deserve to be treated you are their prince that gives her the castle, she is the princess that promises to love and adore to death till you part or when you decide to ruin it by unwrapping the knot around your didgeridoo like the typical ruffian of a broken Britain. however give it your best shot and success and achievement will follow. it starts now and hopefully never finishes.