'if you don't know me by now, you will never never never know me' sang Simply red, JPJ Sanders replied with 'well after all it's their loss'

Today, we are going to get straight to business, therefore i declare war against people who have failed to embrace the marvellous member of the male race that is the Joyful Perfectionist Jubilantly Superbly Awesomely arrogant Numptyish Daring Eccentric Repulsive human being who Speaks his mind called JPJ Sanders. i admit that throughout my 16 years i have been awkward to spend time with, backstabbing, rude, ignorant of emotions, insulting, obnoxious, quiet, obsessed with the lovely Lance Armstrong, lied to get attention, gossiped, created rumours that have broken friendships, stalked people on facebook, pretended to be someone i'm not in order to be liked (it has backfired people do think that i'm from that manly place Brighton), accussed people of being lesbians to take the heat of me, played hockey so i could learn about wonderful women, played netball so i could learn about wonderful women, wrote a book to tell people how males work, wrote poems to express how i feel, pretended to be in agony to get sympathy from people (not all the time though), tried to tell jokes and even tried to act homosexual and stupid however after 2 and a half years i looked back at what i had achieved. it wasn't a lot. so i thought why care what anyone else thinks if you are at one with yourself and the environment than what else matters who cares if tomorrow never comes you've made the most of today end on a high with a beaming smile. all this is starting to worry me, i think i'm becoming human, compassionate almost becoming emotionally involved in things. i've become vunreble to a socialist guilt trip anyway lets go find a group of people that annoy me and insult them. the question i have often asked myself is how have i finally become pleasant to spend time with i'm meant to be this ogre, who moans about the world threatening to destroy everything in it, sending the Berinsfield Benders off to Saudia Arabia to steal me some oil, i hate children the urchens in a females uturus, loathing people from more north than Chester, i ran over a dogs tail accidentally on my way to school and didn't give it a second thought, i'm blasphemous, arrogant, hide my insecurities my exploiting others, stereotype people (mostly correctly though), remorseless, emotionless, never cared about anyone else other than me, myself and i and the reflection that greets me night and day. has society changed, have i been ignorant, pretending that nothings going on like all other Sanders generations, am i dreaming? NO, i have just decided to be me, the challenged character that lets his impulsiveness take him on a voyage of discovery collating information and data each and every day to finally gather some idea of how to behave without losing associates or alienating the population that has had the good pleasure of being exposed to the future head of the british empire. however there are those among us who are probably making paper airplanes, or creating those stubborn origami folds which are then used as weapons against me, wasting their education, failed to revolutionize with the rest of society throwing food around talking with their mouths full of undigested animal who do not possess a adequate vocablury of the queens english, it is these people who never embrace anyones point of veiw or lifestyle, do not have the intelligence to compromise their opinion in order to improve it by inserting a concept from someone elses point of veiw. as a result i need some troops to give these people a lesson in opening up as well as embracing the world challenges. to embrace the worlds challenges i had to do a few things, insult people so i could judge how they would react, accidentally amuse people with my unorthodox approach to all the things in the modern world, find things i enjoyed and dwelled on why i liked them and compare them to the things i found difficult. observed the way popular people behaved and did the opposite because theres no point in being the same as another person, just because one person wears a girls cardigen doesen't mean you have to you could wear jeans and a rugby shirt. just because your friend walks around in public with slippers on doesen't mean you also have to suffer the same discomfort, colouring them red with oxygenated fluid when i accidentally step on your heal because i can't walk in a straight line like i did to Mr Hopkins in the Netherlands. i hate stereotypes which is why i give them a alliterative insulting name like the Marcham Morons or the Berinsfield benders because how do you expect to be liked if you become part of the crowd no one remembers a normal person you remember the eccentric, slightly strange, perplexed perfectionists of the world. if you do not make an effort to know the character you will never be able to embrace their lifestyle or way of thinking that way you miss out on the times when they stumble through your door uninvited with a bottle of fanta and cup stealing your pringles on the way out, the one liners people blurt out about peoples sports being drowning, the rides home where they nearly fall of a bike doing the ymca, the interestingly inspirational teachings they provide. be open minded want to know otherwise you will not know them now, next week not even next millenium by which time your life has been and gone, your 6 feet under with a 20 foot bronze statue commemorating your life with all your achievements listed on it. you will never never never know them, suffering the lost oppurtunity to make a fantastic friend, a hunk of a husband, a gorgeous responsible godparent and worst of all suffer the loss of entertainment they may provide. after all what have you to lose by getting to know them, what have you to gain by not getting to know them.