'long long time ago i can still remember' was how Don Mclean started his famous song American pie, Don Mclean was American who sang a song that's been reasonably popular and listened to and sung along by all classes of life. i think this could well be because of the journey you are taken on by the meandering river of lyrics and the proper job acoustic guitars caressing the layers of vocal vocabulary that gently caresses our eyes as the vibration of Don's vocal cords make everybody feel included as there is at least 2 lines in the song that relate to everyone i am trying to do the same thing through my blogging as i never like to leave people out as i have an opinion on anything and everything that life launches at us through it's nuclear bombs we call lifes problems, we all have them even me and i have the perfect male brain through my aspergers syndrome which is also my problem. unfortunately the problems some people have led to the place they live being stereotyped. originally i thought that this was unfair but as my knowledge as expanded i have discovered that it is the people that make the community so if they behave in that way why not just say it straight use awesome alliteration and stereotype the lot of them. yes today's war is against the group of people that populate a piece of land which in 20 years time will be called Sandersfield, i am talking about a group of gentleman (yes there are exceptions and those people probably won't read this) that i have personally gone to the effort of naming the BERINSFIELD BENDERS, watch your pockets and don't leave your valuables in your car, your insurance won't cover you for this war!
this is a war that i pledge out of the kindness of my 56 beats per minute at resting heart, for i don't like stereotyping but if it changes their behaviour then that tactic shall have to continue. the population of Berinsfield consists of: dwarf like noisy people that get very aggressive when you mention their height; boxers that think they are permanently in the ring and decide rugby is just a bit too manly for them; obsessed lusters who are blinded by girls that are from that place in Wiltshire that shall never be named on this blog with their witchcraft mutations that seem to brainwash men with working testicles; gentleman who lack work ethic and have first names i can't remember who i call by their surnames who own motorbikes; meat cleaver yielding potential murders who live close to a balding adolescent who has a rather charming lack of eyebrows; curious people that ask whether Winnie the Pooh (another relative of mine) was a honey badger; banned from shops due to their past lack of regard for shop owners while playing soccer now can't go and buy lottery tickets; illegal immigrants that run the chinese as well as indian in addition to other stores the government is yet to check once making those checks closing down; adolescents that stand around in their segregated groups punching each other, discussing their past evening multi tasking which they define as playing on their microsoft branded xbox with one hand, playing a solo on their didgeridoo with the other lastly those that find it acceptable to take other peoples possessions before claiming them as their own (even my football socks have been taken although i blame a fishy friend of ours) however some of them take it further trying to sell their pykied possessions to other members of the public. to fight this war will be quite easy with the appropriate strategy.
the strategy we can use is quite simple we either embrace their berinsfield benderish ways avoiding showing them our sentimental valuables through not taking them with us to school or keeping them deep in our side trouser pockets deprieving them of accessong our valuables unless they want to risk being addressed as a homosexual which is fine anywhere else in Oxfordshire apart from Berinsfield there'll probably be an angry mob waiting outside your bus stop laden with professional rumpy bumpiers to convert you back onto the straight and narrow. the second option is that we brainwash them to avoid temptation this will take longer to carry out although once they have been reformed like me for example (obnoxious gossiper to arrogant opinionated agony uncle who writes a blog to let the world know how he feels in the form of writing in more than 140 characters) they should never go back to their own ways avoiding the fate the previous generations may have faced or at least the previous inhabitants of the ruffian ridden squatting peasant who was evicted by my grandmother after a year of court injunctions in the late 1980's. the problem is is that some of these people aren't willing to change as it's not a case of a few ruining it for everyone but the majority sucking in the minority like a hungry hippo that causes these permanent stereotypes unless we can change the current generation we are exposed to this war could last for years, decades, generations possibly even to the year 3000 where not much would have changed but they may live underwater. it's a shame this civil war must commence but as it must persist first i have to get some shots becuase who knows where they've been
what they've touched and seen.
there may be fatalaties,
motivation lacking as a result of the casualties
but one thing will never change
my somewhat strange
will to win
even when threatened to be put in the bin
becuase we will unite to win the war
and give the poor old man back his door
which when searched contained a hearty crown
the one the king was wearing when he looked down
which is why
don mclean educated us through the song American pie!
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