'Enola Gay, you should have stayed at home yesterday' sang Orchesteral Maneveurs in the Dark, JPJ Sanders replied with 'as should have the person who put me in a sticky situation!'

lunchtime a compound verb meaning the time allocated to eat lunch, in french lunch is dejuneur and the Germans use mittagessen, which means time in the middle of the day to eat. i like to make the most of my time allocated to eat lunch and most of the time i don't even eat my lunch I've been so busy creating chaos in the world of marvelous men and wonderful women. today started of no different i silently stepped into the hall on my way out of sports studies walked over to the table via offending a couple of ruffians in the year below who told me to get out of the way. so i do my usual pacing round the table finding a place i'm allowed to sit before grabbing a chair and sitting where i want to anyway much to the protest of everybody else. i give Mr Gable's shoulders a bit of a rub, followed by my future lawyer Lord Allen who quickly bellows 'hello JPJ you can stop that now' before moving onto Mr Turner who's face cringes and his forehead wrinkles like a raisin, the usual elbow comes into contact with my ribs which i always take as a queue to sit down and eat lunch. so today i did eat lunch, joining in conversations such as why Lord Allen is missing out on the world of twitter (follow me @jpjsandersWOE)and why i'm such a terrible party animal as well as human being. so i finished my lunch, offloaded a weekends worth of gossip onto my angelic agents, continue to proceed outside commit the usual mischief offend a few ruffians tell people the errors of their ways. why the robin hood party's plans (labour) were like robin hood's ethics WRONG! educate people as to why under my reign next time you exploit your jealousy of my delicious dialect by copying me you'll be living on the street rather than a council house. lunchtime was going to plan till 10 minutes from the end where a badly aimed wooden utensil used to poke people with, was thrown by a male who originates from East London at a being called Crooky (must be named after a character from Mice of Men) only it didn't hit Crooky it hit me in the eye. the male who threw the stick is just one example of incidents in the playground as a result of male stupidity. had the stick hit me an inch higher i would be going 'a-ha my hearties anyone seen my left eye, i've lost it hence the eye patch' as a result i declare war against male stupidity at lunchtimes!

myself and follow members of our community who populate the village bigger than Marcham called Larkmead. i can list numerous acts of stupidity that have injured me; a concussion from being pushed over, a pulled back muscle from being tackled, a 2inch wound from people robbing me of my socks was the latest tills today stick in the eye. something must be done to prevent these future drop outs of society, benefit bulldozing, destroyer of potential economic growth through ruining the education of others deeming them and others unemployable, poorly co ordinated, lacking of a brain, thoughtless, stupid, idiotic, providers of the wrong impression on the youth of today, modern music listening, unable to wear trousers properly, £15 per pair boxer wearing, non sensical social networker, tobacco smoking, steps fan, s-club 7 hating, aussie abusing, talks in a dialect me and Boris call piffle, use the fact that they have a metabolism to make fabulous females be attracted to them, failure of the term 'you only get out what you put in' because clearly their parents are disapointed at what they got out after the effort they put in, in the first place and worst of all they ruin their reputation they've built up due to a thing i call 'word of mouth demotion' as a result of them breaking the 2 golden rules. 1. don't get on the wrong side of me i can make your life hell when i want too. 2.i'm JPJ Sanders the future leader of this interesting island you'll be living on the streets of some african country without even a cardboard box. i believe the problem we face with todays young people is that boundaries and expectations have changed; no longer will a ruffian who bypassed the platter containing his education walk into a factory in Cowley and work for 40 years putting the doors on cars. the mature populations of this country expect us to be robotic in the way we go to school, come home, eat, revise or complete homework then bed. however that is pretty much my life in a nutshell once lawn bowls and gossiping are included. which brings me to another point in war time britian sticks would not have been thought of objects they would have had lead put in them to be used as a writing utensil, as manafacturing methods have improved, our perception of uses for objects hasn't therefore troops i think we may require the use of the fictional character dr who.

to win this war i intend to take the perpetrators back in time to see for themselves the wonders simple objects that fall off trees can provide as well as so rather than break things they realise the value they possessed to their great grandparents (in my case) or for most of you your grandparents (we like to settle down young in our family as we are at our most capable in our late 20's) that way these people will no longer break things because they've lost at table tennis or just that its in their hand and as a result of their monkey like characteristics just have to throw it or smash it against something will realise the oppurtunity they have been given through the providing of those resources. my incident was just one of many examples of if they had only stayed at home on monday rather than coming to school because words can't describe the feeling i felt when a stick hits you a inch below your retina. those games they play nearly did end in tears on monday and a game should never end with someone having to have a prosphetic eye: it was about 1.45 which is not the time that its always been i unfortunately didn't get the message that a stick was flying in my direction conditions were normal for winter still it doesen't allow them to try and send me home. i really don't think that their mothers would be proud of their actions it's a good job though that the kiss the stick gave me will one day fade away. there have been so many near misses during my time at Larkmead in addition to avoidable tragedies, as monty python sang 'every sperm is sacred' this is true when thinking of the person that was concieved when the sperm unfortunately collided with the ovum to create a uterus urchin who turned into a terrible toddler, a challenged child, an atrocious adolescent, a yob of a young adult. to stop the yob of a young adult becoming a annoying adult we either re educate them or put them in a cage. at this point in time in my opinion we put them in the cage with a video playing in front of them that will reeducate (brainwash) them into becoming a better person. act today or face the consequences of a band called 'Orchesteral Manuveres in the Daytime' writing and singing a song about it called serial stupidity, and not even Mr Speke would enjoy that.