'it's a hundred thousand light years side to side, it bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light years thick' sang Monty, JPJ Sanders replied with 'further proof that obesity is becoming a growing problem in teenagers!'

physical education is and always will be my favourite subject at school. it provides amusement in the forms of watching the girls attempt to play soccer, or Lord Allen running after a frisby and falling over. provides physical benefits through cross training and most of all satisfaction when you emerge from the bottom of a ruck covered in mud after ploughing through 3 people or being dump tackled by someone bigger than yourself. this term in physical education we have been aiming to improve our cardiovascular fitness, which is exercising the entire body for a prolonged amount of time delaying the onset of fatigue caused by lactic acid which is caused by the muscles not being supplied with enough oxygen and glucose to work properly (sports studies people take note) as i'm a eccentric passionate person i approach sport in the same manner so as i'm a bit strange i did 250 miles of cycling over christmas this has caused me to have a good cardiovascular fitness. unfortunately there are members of our population who are even stranger than i am who would rather than improve their bodies and worship their god like body (i have the body of a buddha) would do no exercise at all yet for some bizarre reason their thinner than me. although what does anger me is people who do not have the best metabolisms who do eat unhealthy things, yet do not do a thing to burn this sinful calorie intake leading to them being overweight potentially obese; these people annoy me prefusely if i had my way i would walk up to them grab their stomachs and go 'wibble wobble wibble wobble your belly's like jelly on a plate' it is because of this annoyance they cause that i declare war against the obese and the unfit!

in my opinion anyone who gasps in horror at running 10 minutes is a concern to me, it shows to me that you are: inept, unhealthy, lazy, lacking of motivation, need a kick start, a negative contributor the conservative big society, a failure to the physical education faculty, a strain on the governments resources, a depriever of food for the poor africans that make your extra extra large clothes, overfat, overweight, disilhusioned about the detriment their lifestyle has on the rest of their life, selfish, self satisfying, grotesque, ungrateful, glutenous, future feelers of guilt for their past actions, a health and safety hazard on stairs, the corridors awkwardly placed statues wheezing slowly from place to place like Lord Allen after doing a cross country run, potentially flammable from the extra deodrant needed, a fossil fuel energy guzzling machine that uses more plates than a family of four causing the dishwasher to be used more, a contributor to global warming and worst of all partly responsible for the economic crisis due to their level of fitness being so low that they have to walk slower causing the difference they could have made to the world less in addition too as i stated when fighting a previous war halting the progress of people such as bankers or stock brokers making them late causing the price of the pound to fall. it is unacceptable that they should be allowed to maintain their current lifestyles, if they do not improve their fitness the only thing left to do will make them dig their own grave which should help their fitness anyway. to win this war on obesity i need a motivator something unafraid of abuse like Margeret Thatcher in the 1980's when those northern miners verbally abused my maggie! as Maggie's retired i guess me and my partner in crime Mr Clarkson armed with megaphones and tigers will have to do. lets go do some cake whipping!

i'm going to be my usual blunt self and say this there are too many unfit and overweight people in the world the and the reasons for this are the modern reliance on services such as fast food restuarants and meals with high fat to support our busy lifestyles is absoloute piffle (more piffle than labours manifesto) the reasons are simple the focus on life has become over academic people put their health to one side instead take their breaks from academic work by playing computer games or watching the vast amount of nonsense on television these days. it's things like this that gets Mrs Brown down, because when her life is hard or tough, she sees these overweight and unfit people who are stupid obnoxious or daft. she like me feels that she's had enough of these people ignoring the support provided for them that could be given to help cancer patients, downs syndrome and autism and aspergers. i hope these people would remember that there standing on a planet that's evolving, revolving at 900 miles an hour, which is orbiting at 19 seconds so phsicists reckon and of course the superb sun is the source of the power used to microwave their meals drive their cars to that master of disaster that is mcdonalds. the sun me JPJ Sanders and my wonderful wonderful readers and even those overweight unfit people are moving a million miles a day. the galaxy they live in called the milky way is only slighter larger than their waistline at a hundred thousand light years side to side with a bulge in the middle sixteen thousand lightyears thick. so remember when you're feeling small and insecure in case one of king kongs extended family falls on you that how amazingly unlikely are our births therefore they should be more grateful and make the most of it rather than eating themselves to death, lets hope that one day through making them run or get eaten by a tiger or bashed with a megaphone for walking that they do have some intelligence and sense between their ears go out and reach progressive overload and improve their fitness losing weight or we'll end up with a massive amount of obese tigers from eating overweight people. troops this problem will soon become an epidemic if we do not put a stop to it, people have better uses than statues with a heartbeat; lets get motivated and become a fit populus nation, realising our potential becoming a brilliant respected nation once again!